Overrated Bullshit & Lent

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes I fail at this, but I always try, and I think, hmm. Maybe eight years ago my lawyer was having a rough day. Maybe he’s won awards since then, after ALMOST single handedly botching up my lawsuit, until a new set of legal eyes swooped in to clean up his mess that is. Everyone has an off day, right? You know what?

BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT IS OVERRATED.

At least also in terms of ever thinking your husband is going to overnight become a rational loving man, or stop hurling dishes across the room at you, or ever becoming calm enough to be trusted with a sharp object in his hand. No then you know what? Your best, and only, reaction is to run. Run far, run long, and, never, ever, look back thinking you are just being a coward, or terrible spouse, just RUN.

BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT IS OVERRATED...

When your over educated (the ivy league education you paid for by the way for them) daughter tells you her life is filled to the brim, and is currently concentrating on her making “new” her relationship with her father (the person you are divorced from for very astute obvious reasons, and the one whom never gave a shit before) is no longer needy for you, and also heavily concentrated on the future and not discussing the past (conveniently enough) once again, BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT IS OVERRATED BULLSHIT. 

When your son marries and forgets that you remarried and moved also, to the tune of him, or your new daughter – in-law not being able to call, email, text, OR visit you, yup, you got it, BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT IS OVERRATED BULLSHIT.

When your bank charges you a fee for uncollected funds on a fifteen dollar check you wrote against a check that was a half day away from clearing, BUT THEN, calls you with wishes to HELP you handle your money, after they clear it and they spot the very large deposit amount of that said check.........BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT IS OVERRATED.

My jugular vein has been stabbed, pocked, pricked and prodded by the constant cycle of sequence of me giving someone, somewhere, the mere benefit of the doubt, least of all, when they least deserve it.

Today begins the first Friday of Lent, got ashes on my forehead two days ago to prove it. I want to feel extremely forgiving, thus bestowing the benefit of the doubt to all whom approach me today, but, regardless of the ashes that now adorn me, not one living viable thing is getting the benefit of the doubt, today, tomorrow, or for a very ungracious amount of time to come. My jugular vein has bled dry by being a good sport. I am so overcooked on this issue it is no longer even funny!

So, as most individual will choose to give up for forty days and forty nights something they fully need, or fully like......I will be giving up the BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT, and call it a day.....thus destressing over people and concentrating more on myself during Lent, and really giving a sense of INTENT to my life, after all, nothing screams LENT more than that connation to me...

BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT is no longer going to be one of my many character flaws...as of today I have put it to a much needed rest in a box.....way on the upper shelf of my closet..