tragedy / secrets / caffeine

I now know the chord that has always fed me, has always been, just my own, strangled, was I, with the chord that you had wrapped around me, the one I had to untangle, the secrets you kept in your chamber tied up like knots. I was killed by a single bullet, it only took you one shot, as I lay in the field, breathing in the smell of grass, still, silent, as I wanted you to know, the war was over, that I could now sleep. The one shot, your final last bullet, missed me...it landed in the field far away from where I lay. I had no idea how to erase what I never meant to remember, the chord of your love, that in the end, wrapped around my neck, my tragedies wore, not on my heart, or on my sleeve, but on my ribcage where they remain pressed to my bone. I had no idea the final puddle of letting go would leave me, this wet. The chord that now feeds me, is finally my own. The end of a chapter in my life...maybe, one day, I'll learn how not to remember. I'll learn how to finally forget. 

I watch as my fingers play with the rim of my coffee cup. I feel the hardness of the brew on my lips, the wet grace of peace and pain sitting in the residual grinds of the pot. Sipping in silence, the sun not yet shifting up from behind the moon, as light dances across the room. Caffeine rises and rests on the roof of my mouth, afraid if I stop sipping, the world will intrude and step in.......thoughts magnify in the quietness, the tiny random details hit me the hardest, the ones kept nestled tightly to my breast which I still cannot release from.....