Meditation / Monday / art to eat from

the glassware I create which has kept me mighty busy these past few weeks and away from posting daily on this blog

Why for the entirety of my life have I always felt like this? The feeling that I need to cope, that I need to hang on, that this is what is expected of me, being the glue to hold all of the sum pieces of life together. There have been plenty of times where having to be the glue was my least favorite job.  

Here I am again, being the glue for one of my grown up children. The same glue that has disconnected me from my other two-grownup children, as they have tossed their need for glue to the side, and myself, the collateral damage along the way.  This one daughter though, I am not so much the glue for her life, but rather, the cement in her shoes that holds her firmly in place. I really wish to be the bird that simply flees overhead, watching, not the cement, or the glue, the mucky sticky mess that often wraps around my fingers like silly putty.

I want to fly above and simply watch life as a spectator, as part of the theatrical audience enjoying the show, not the one patching up the holes, sweeping the dirt under the carpet, molding perfection out of something that is anything but. I, for once, just this once, want my hands to be clean of the glue, as it is exhausting and weary. I have built foundations from nothing at all, resurrected full-scale models of life, from just ruble and debris. I have had to build castles from cardboard boxes. I have always had to be the glue in life. Just once, I wish to not feel the stickiness of life’s toils!