Grief, Love, and Life !
So, here we go again. The Holiday Season is upon us. Depending upon
who you are, this either means a great deal or almost nothing at all. This
year, I hope you all feel loved beyond belief and that you live with a sense of
joy throughout the entire year. I hope you all get past old familiar haunts the
minute you once again let yourself feel. I hope this for all of you, as well as
for myself. As far as thieves go, grief is the greatest one. She robs us
of the people we love, but—perhaps most achingly—she zaps our ability to
imagine the future. Lose a place, a person, or a love and, suddenly,
measurements of time become irrelevant. Grief warps time; she renders our plans
for next week and dreams for the next vacation incongruous. When we mourn our
losses we also mourn, for better or for worse, ourselves. As we were. As we are
no longer. As we will one day not be at all.
Imagining the future is an act of
boldness. The wishful imagination of a future with being alive: a wanting, a
living, an expectation of something more.
My discontent with grief comes from
its blocking my boundless want. By drawing strict lines between my living and
those whom I have lost, grief casts the world in harsh light. She makes it
impossible to believe in forever. Instead, she injects a heinous pragmatism
into sentiments that would rather be unadulterated by it. My only antidote to
that has been to love – the kind of love that floods every crack and fills the
vacuum of loss with the promise of togetherness. Feeling something strong
enough to carve into a brick, with all the world serving as your witness. The
triumph of love over loss, of affection over grief, of dreaming over pain. I am
going to breath deep, even after my daily yoga session has ended. Give myself a
little grace when I inevitably fall short.
No comments:
Post a Comment