When will three grown up children realize that after fifteen years of being widowed, their father is entitled to a life? He's entitled to have made the very, (apparently disconcerning, disjointed and very selfish) decision, to get remarried, and to me. When will these grown up children come to understand that I am not the catalyst to their unhappiness, but rather, I am the catalyst to their father's now blatant happiness, and brimming ear to ear smile? When do they ever get the right to be judge, jury, and executionist, with my head on the chopping block? Seems a bit trite and unfair pleasantries at this stage of life, to feel you have the right to keep the ghost and haunts of your father's past life in check.....think, that maybe, he has a right to some very overdue happiness and companionship enter into his life.......even if it makes you envious and unhappy. Seems, one would think, that his happiness at some point should become paramount, against all odds.
To My Stepchildren,
You all grew up, moved out, moved onward, got married, (got divorced), had children, moved to different states, and succumbed to very content and financial well accumulated and advantageous lives.........why, of why, oh why........can't he? (your dad that is) I am not your mother's replacement, I am your father's second wife and joy. I am your father's chance of a life that he had been stripped of. I am his ability to smile, to laugh, to appreciate, to love, all over again. Yes, people can fall in love again, without ever tainting a past love. I did not take your mother from you, life did.....when will I ever be relieved of paying for that sin, that old debt? Please someone notify me when that day will arrive, if ever? In the meantime, I will continue to love your dad, as he will continue to love me, as we both, will continue to love all of you.
To My Children
You all grew up, finished college, married, moved (on and upward), borrowed money (failed to ever pay it back), asked for favors ( had them all fulfilled in the end by me), bartered and borrowed your individual selfs through relationships with me, asked of me to support your efforts with your own dad ( the abusive one to me), and, yet, you still feel the need to judge my life and decisions, by your strict moral codes of conduct (not quite the same ones I recall you adhered to in your college days, hhmmm, the ones I bailed you out of more times than I care to remember). At my age, I knew what I wanted, what I was doing, and to finally run the hell away from the haunts of my old marriage ( yes, the one I lived in with your dad, one riddled with twenty five years of abuse). Seems it was finally time to let me out of the prison, give myself some needed air, to breath, to run, to jump, to yell from mountain- tops. When will you all realize, you have no right to judge what you did not live? That right is solely owned by me. You all got out, got away, and that was always my shared right too. A right to begin new, fresh, to take care of me, (after all, I took care of all of you for years, that's what moms do). I had a right to fall in love and get remarried, to feel alive for the first time in as many years as I can count. I had the same right to happiness, as you all did, and do. I had a right to follow through with it, and find peace with someone new.
So, please, would all of you please educate me, as to when you all felt the entitlement and privilege to wave a magical wand, and dictate to us how our life should be handled and carried on?
To My Stepchildren,
You all grew up, moved out, moved onward, got married, (got divorced), had children, moved to different states, and succumbed to very content and financial well accumulated and advantageous lives.........why, of why, oh why........can't he? (your dad that is) I am not your mother's replacement, I am your father's second wife and joy. I am your father's chance of a life that he had been stripped of. I am his ability to smile, to laugh, to appreciate, to love, all over again. Yes, people can fall in love again, without ever tainting a past love. I did not take your mother from you, life did.....when will I ever be relieved of paying for that sin, that old debt? Please someone notify me when that day will arrive, if ever? In the meantime, I will continue to love your dad, as he will continue to love me, as we both, will continue to love all of you.
To My Children
You all grew up, finished college, married, moved (on and upward), borrowed money (failed to ever pay it back), asked for favors ( had them all fulfilled in the end by me), bartered and borrowed your individual selfs through relationships with me, asked of me to support your efforts with your own dad ( the abusive one to me), and, yet, you still feel the need to judge my life and decisions, by your strict moral codes of conduct (not quite the same ones I recall you adhered to in your college days, hhmmm, the ones I bailed you out of more times than I care to remember). At my age, I knew what I wanted, what I was doing, and to finally run the hell away from the haunts of my old marriage ( yes, the one I lived in with your dad, one riddled with twenty five years of abuse). Seems it was finally time to let me out of the prison, give myself some needed air, to breath, to run, to jump, to yell from mountain- tops. When will you all realize, you have no right to judge what you did not live? That right is solely owned by me. You all got out, got away, and that was always my shared right too. A right to begin new, fresh, to take care of me, (after all, I took care of all of you for years, that's what moms do). I had a right to fall in love and get remarried, to feel alive for the first time in as many years as I can count. I had the same right to happiness, as you all did, and do. I had a right to follow through with it, and find peace with someone new.
So, please, would all of you please educate me, as to when you all felt the entitlement and privilege to wave a magical wand, and dictate to us how our life should be handled and carried on?
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